Golf Puns: 32 Tee-Time Lines, Captions & Card Openers

In short

Golf puns are perennial because golfers love them; tee-rific alone is on countless mugs. This page has 32, grouped for the course, the card and the clubhouse.

Golf puns are perennial because golfers love them. "Tee-rific" has probably been printed on more mugs than any other sports pun in history.

Grouped for the course, the card, and the clubhouse.

Golf Puns

Straight down the fairway.

  1. You're tee-rific.
  2. This is going to be putt-standing.
  3. I'm on par today.
  4. Fore-get about it.
  5. Iron out the details later.
  6. You're driving me crazy — in a good way.
  7. Let's get this par-ty started.
  8. Feeling green today.
  9. Putt your best foot forward.
  10. You're a real chip off the old block.
  11. Hole-y moly, what a shot.
  12. Let the good times roll — into the hole.

Golf Jokes

Clubhouse classics.

  1. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one.
  2. What's a golfer's favourite letter? Tee.
  3. Why did the golfer bring an umbrella? For the drive-by showers.
  4. What do you call a golfer who scores badly? A chip off the old bogey.
  5. Why was the golfer's phone always ringing? He had a lot of calls on the green.
  6. What's a golfer's favourite dance? The birdie.
  7. Why did the golfer go to the dentist? He had a hole in one.
  8. Why don't golfers argue? They'd rather keep the peace on the green.
  9. How did the golfer get home? By course.
  10. What do golfers say when they're finished? Fore-ver done.

Golf Captions

Swing, snap, post.

  1. Tee time is me time.
  2. Golf: the only place I'm okay with hitting under par.
  3. Drive it like you stole it.
  4. Life's a course, play it well.
  5. Just here for the cart.
  6. Bogeys and bragging rights.
  7. Talk birdie to me.
  8. Sunday is for the green.
  9. Swing hard, apologise later.
  10. Par-tee animal.

Keep reading

Frequently Asked Questions

What's the best golf pun for a retirement card?

"Fore-ever free" and "Time to tee off on retirement" are the two most popular. Both fit on a standard card front.

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Written by

Nia Okafor

Founder & Head Punster

Nia started MrPuns as a spreadsheet of jokes she kept sending to the same four friends. The spreadsheet got out of hand. She writes most of the pun collections, draws the cards, and maintains a strict policy that every pun on the site was typed by a human who thought it was funny at the time.