Valentine's Puns: 42 Sweet, Cheesy & Single-Friendly Lines
In short
Valentine's puns are the most forgiving kind: nobody expects a card pun to be clever, only sweet. This list has 42, including a section for people who are single on the day.
Valentine's puns are the softest in the seasonal set — and the most forgiving. Nobody expects a card pun to be clever; they expect it to be sweet.
Split into romantic, food-based (the best kind), and jokes for the single friend.
Romantic Valentine's Puns
Warm, slightly cheesy, very effective.
- You're my favourite notification.
- I'm totally a-dough-red by you.
- I love you a latte.
- You're my lobster.
- I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
- You're the peanut butter to my jelly.
- Olive you so much.
- You're purr-fect.
- I'm soy into you.
- We're mint to be.
- You're my sunshine on a cloudy day — and my umbrella.
- I whale always love you.
Food Valentine's Puns
The most trusted format on Earth.
- I donut know what I'd do without you.
- You're the apple of my pie.
- Let's avocuddle.
- You're one in a melon.
- I like you a whole latte.
- Life without you would be un-brie-lievable.
- You're my butter half.
- I'm bananas for you.
- You make miso happy.
- I've got a crush on you — grape one.
Valentine's Jokes
Slightly less sincere.
- What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
- Why did the two bicycles break up? They were two-tired.
- What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.
- Why are artichokes the most loving vegetable? They have hearts.
- What did the light bulb say to its valentine? I love you a watt.
- What did the calculator say to the pencil? You can count on me.
- Why did the phone propose? It found the one.
- What do squirrels give on Valentine's? Forget-me-nuts.
- What did the cat say to her valentine? You're purr-fect for me.
- Why did the magnet fall in love? Because opposites attract.
Single on Valentine's Puns
Self-love, with a side of sarcasm.
- Single and ready to flamingle.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm eating this chocolate and not sharing with you.
- Cupid has terrible aim.
- My valentine is a pizza.
- Happy Independence Day.
- Love is in the air. So is pollen. Neither is for me.
- Taken — by my cat.
- I'm not single, I'm in a long-term relationship with my sofa.
- Sweet, single, and snack-full.
- Be mine? No. Be yours. It's cheaper.
Keep reading
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the sweetest Valentine's pun for a card?
"You're my favourite notification" for a modern touch, or "I love you a latte" if you want something safe and universally understood.